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23/12/2008

why people prefer dogs and cats to human beings

maneka gandhi

(bihar times) at the end of the year, i am so busy castigating myself over the number of times that i have failed to save an animal that i am in no mood to write a serious piece. so since i had written on why people prefer dogs and cats to human mates, the next logical one would be why so many prefer dogs and cats to children. i love my son very much but my animals sit with me at work. in a recent poll, 45 % of dog owners in europe and america said that having a dog is better than having a child, which probably prompted the book called, “why dogs are better than kids” by jennifer berman that, in a tongue-in-cheek style, explains why.
here are the answers from across my world. many of those that have answered have children as well !

dogs ( read cats too):

1.       are never going to turn into armed robbers and terrorists or degenerates making a mockery of my breast milk.
2.      don’t aim to be disc jockeys and a real estate agents as a career choice
3.      are better behaved and more of a companion that a child would ever agree to be
4.      eat less
5.      don't ask for money all the time
6.      are easier to train
7.      normally come when called
8.      never ask to drive the car
9.      don't smoke or drink or hang out with drug-using friends
10. don't have to buy the latest fashions
11. don't want to wear your clothes
12. don't need pocket money
13. are very much like toddlers. except that they don't grow up. heaven is being queen of the toddlers.
14. don’t use the bathroom for hours on end and leave it in a mess
15. are not going to become independent and leave i won’t be abandoned
16. don’t judge us, no matter what we wear, buy, eat, drive or look like. now we’ve got an antidote to constant criticism from ourselves and others that plague us day after day.
17. give companionship without the baggage of a human companion. no words come out wrong. no shirking of responsibilities. no manipulation, tardiness, meanness, cheating or misunderstandings.
18. are cheaper than babies, specially if you get them free from your local shelter
19. won't give you stretch marks. women don't have to lose their figures just to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet around your home ( bonus: you get twice as many tiny feet). you also won't have to endure morning sickness, midnight cravings, post-natal depression or hours of painful labour.
20. will not have to have the latest clothes, music, or video games.
21. will never ask to borrow the keys to your car, and will never call you in the middle of the night to tell you they've wrecked it.
22. will not insist on playing heavy metal music at an ear-shattering volume , nor spend hours on the telephone while you are expecting an important call. you don't need to get an extra phone line for a dog.
23. won't discuss intimate details of your life with other dogs, and even if they do the other dogs won't be able to tell their humans.
24. will never call you names, resent that you don't make as much money as their friends' parents, or put you in a retirement home.
25. will accept discipline when you give it and learn from its mistakes.
26. never grow out of being kissed or hugged in front of their friends.
27. will watch classic movies with you and won't laugh at the special effects.
28. don't ask why.
29. don't roll their eyes when you talk about your childhood.
30. don't notice if your clothes are old fashioned and your hairstyle
from the 50's
31. won't grow up to blame you for what they become
32. never criticize your cooking.
33. cannot lie.
34. are not embarrassed if you sing in public.
35. will never accuse you of not being cool enough
36. clean their own bottoms
37. eat most of the food they fling on the floor
38. don’t sing the same songs over and over again
39. don’t repeat what you’ve said about your friends
40. never ask you to get out your wallet. every time your children look at the tv, there's something else they want you to buy for them
41. give unconditional love, they are always thrilled to see you,
42. don't answer back very often
43. don't go out in public wearing clothes you hate
44. get their hair cut exactly how you want them to
45. don’t go on and on about "generation gaps".
46. love us even when we're sick in bed or when we have garlic breath
47. never shout "i hate you" when you tell them they have to be home early or that they can't buy something
48. don't need to be taken to music lessons or tuition
49. don't become embarrassed to be seen with you .
50. don’t sulk if you scold them .
51. don't need a baby sitter when you go out.
52. listen no matter what you say
53.don’t quarrel with you
54. wag their tails to greet us at the door, every single day. how many people get up and come to the door when we come home?
55. can be locked up when you have company

we need someone who needs us, who will protect us, to take care of, who will be there for us, no matter what.
children raise your blood pressure. dogs lood pressure and other effects of stress.
you get to see it grow from a gangly puppy into a responsible, protective adult, you will nurse it through its senescence and it will pass away loving you as much as it did the day you brought it home. you don't get this kind of behaviour with children.

with babies, you don't have a choice of breeds or bloodlines. each has its own physical characteristics and temperament. a baby is the same breed as you are, with your genes.
you will never have to change your puppy's nappies. with housetraining, an eight-week-old puppy can be taught to go out in a week. it takes 4 years or more with a baby
cute little puppies grow up to be dogs. cute little babies grow up to be teenagers.
you can give them wonderfully inventive names
if you move house you don’t have to worry about your dog making new friends right away
you don’t have to worry about admissions to a good school
you don’t have to save for their marriages, education or jobs
you don’t have to deal with their friends or their teenage problems
if your dog gets pregnant you can give away the babies without getting arrested
dogs have good shoulders to cry on. children make you cry

dogs are not child substitutes. children are dog substitutes.

let me be politically correct. dogs and children have different roles in our lives and both of them need to be there.

to join the animal welfare movement contact gandhim@nic.in

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