This
is certainly not to add proverbial salt to your injuries.
After all, we are yet to recover from India’s early
(I won’t say shocking) exit from the world cup.
I
am not here to bore the shit out of you, either. As
a cricket-watcher (again, I hold the term LOVER) since
I was just 10, I just want to share it with you and
have a cumulative feeling of unburdening.
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Like
most of you, I have seen it all, jumping in joy,
crying in agony and just not expressing. But now
after watching cricket for almost 25 years, I
have in a way(like most of you) have become a
kind of stoic. An Indian victory or defeat does
not surprise me. I am surely happy about India
winning it but do not go ga-ga over it.
I
have an idea. You may call it weird and call me
flippant and react with “Very Funnny”.
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Can
we play Ludo now because the game is not about competence
and consistency? What you have to do is to throw the
dice praying for desired numbers. It will not need a
Greg Chappel to coach you. You can just ask your grand
dads and moms to help in casting the dice. Even when
you lose, you can safely say“I was not just lucky”.
Another
great benefit of Ludo is that you do not need physical
fitness. Rather, you can flaunt your paunches(sorry
Romesh Powar and Veeru) to bully the opposition. You
do not have to dive on those hard surfaces. You can
also play your AC on.
Ludo
is a total injury-free game. No trip to South Africa
or England for thoseshoulder and Tennis elbow surgeries.
Ludo
is a cost-effective game.The Entire India can play it
together and cheer each other. Plastic coated one is
a bit costlier.
But
there is no national and international championship
(anybody can correct me) in this game. But there is
no reason to worry as we can ask our sport s minister
to recognize the game and ask other teams to play it.
Then, we can have a ludo world cup. We can engage tarrot
card players and hold yagnas.
As
it is about pure luck, we can arrange puja-path and
yagnas to succeed. It may work for ludo. As for cricket,
it has become yagna-resistant now as mosquitoes to repellants.
Just
in case, where have all the tarrot card experts gone?
Hole them out for those semi-final and final predictions.
At least, they should return their heavy payments to
TV channels.
By
now, you must be seething in angerfor my well-intended
derision of India’s exit from the World Cup. Tellme,
what should I do?
I
too, have added extra minus power to my specs like many
of you watching the game over the years. I too, have
skipped breakfast and lunch listening to radio commentaries
or watching the game. If I was not dubbed as mama’s
boy, it is only because of cricket.
Let
me start it Sachin The Great. Statistics say he has
compiled 14,800 plus runs in one-day matches and 10,000
plus in test matches. Great!!!
But
can you remind me five games he has helped India win
chasing a target? His back-to-back centuries in Sharjah
Cupagainst Australia are probably the best I could recall.
His
65 against Sri Lanka in 1996 World Cup semi-final at
Kolkata (remember Kambli breaking down and Jaysurya
digging an Indian grave) was surely agreat effort. His
137 against Pakistan at Chennai chasing a target would
have best had he taken India to victory. India had lost
the test match by 12 runs. It was great (this time I
mean the adjective letter for letter) Anil Kumble who
spun a magic spell and by scalping all 10 Pakwickets
at Kotla. India won by 212 runs. But you still did not
have Kumle posters in markets.
Sachin
is a choker. He is about individual brilliance and player
of comfort zone. It is a cruel joke that he is not associated
with any of great Indian wins. Kolkta test, that was
later declared Wisdon match of the century), was about
VVS Laxman (281) andRahul Dravid (180) and Net-west
tropy was about Yuvraj and Kaif. It is an irony that
Kaif and Laxman are out of reckoning. No matter they
are not playing, they will be remembered for a long
time. Probably, I will tell the stories to my grandchildren.
Why
on earth will people call you GREAT when you do not
play in pressure-games? Sachin had scored 673in 2003
World Cup, a record total. But in the finals against
Australia,he just scored 4 and gave his wicket to Glenn
Mcgrath (If I remember correctly). When it comes to
deliver, Sachin has failed himself and usmost times.
Experts
say Steve Waugh just had eight shots to play.Maybe true.
But he did take the rest unplayable shots on his body.That’s
why he is great. Ricky Ponting may be arrogant but he
very often backs his arrogance. Brian Lara, Inzamam,
S Fleming, Jacques Kallis,Rahul Dravid and even maligned
Saurav have won us many matches.
Juststop
saying Sachin carries the burden of 100 million people
on his backand hence, he had back problem (bad joke,
I know). If cricket has watched his individual brilliance,
it has also watched his great fall against Shoab and
Asif. Can you tell me when he whipped Shaun Pollock,Glenn
McGrath, Wasim Akram and Chaminda Vass. He did succeed
against great Shane Warne. But that was it.
But
one can again argue why I am venting my anger on Sachin.
It is all because you call him “great” for
all those data.
Experts
have also called the Indian batting line-up the best.
Yes, it does look so on paper. But they have seldom
delivered.Dravid, who has delivered up to expectation
minus some recent debacles,has not got his due. Saurav
might not have played great innings during latter part
of his captaincy, his recent resurgence does show his
drive and commitment. He is the one who helped us chase
300 plus target forthe first time in best of three finals
with his 125. Sachin did score 65 in that decisive final.
M
S Dhoni, who was touted as a man to watch,also fizzled
out. I just learnt that he paid about Rs 3 crore as
income tax. Fans also blame it on his hair and “hairy”
products heendorses.
I
believe India is the most inconsistent team in the world.Just
as it can score 413, it can score 113 in another match.
A
word about Indian bowling: People have more often than
not blamed the lackluster bowling for debacle. But I
bet, it is the batting that hasfailed us 7 out of 10
times.
There
has been also talk about “pitchbecoming slow”
become India has a poor run-rate. Our former crickets
arevery often able to convince us as well. But I want
to ask them, why the pitch has never become slow when
Australia bats. Rather, it gets fast.
So
that slowness is a mental state. Just say that we are
notgood enough, not up to standard. And why on earth,
Australia does not have too many “bad days in office”?
Even when they have bad days, they score 300 plus. It
was Newzealand that played extraordinary cricket to
white wash Australia just before WC.
Ramchandra
Guha had once told me that Sri Lanka won 1996 World
Cup only because all its big guns –Jayasurya, Arvinda,
Kalu, Murli and Vaas – fired together. We too,
have great names in present teams. But our guns seldom
fire together. The result is before all of us.
I
am not concerned about market loss and marauded Indian
hopes. It is about playing good and competitive cricket.It
is time for BCCI to do at least one thing. Please introduce
a performance-oriented system. At least, that can drive
a player to focus more on the game.
Forget
“Oo Ah India”. Just do it for yourself, man.We
will be happy. We are hurt because you represent a country
of non-achievers in games and sports. Because you alone
are responsible for making many of us forget what our
national game is.
