(Bihar Times) At  the end of the year, I am so busy castigating myself over the number of times  that I have failed to save an animal that I am in no mood to write a serious  piece. So since I had written on why people prefer dogs and cats to human mates,  the next logical one would be why so many prefer dogs and cats to children. I  love my son very much but my animals sit with me at work.  In a recent poll, 45 % of dog owners in  Europe and America said that having a dog is better than having a child, Which  probably prompted the book called, “Why Dogs are Better than Kids” by Jennifer  Berman  that, in a tongue-in-cheek style,  explains why. 
    Here  are the answers from across my world. Many of those that have answered have  children as well ! 
    
    Dogs  ( read cats too): 
    
  1.       are never going to turn into armed  robbers and terrorists or degenerates making a mockery of my breast milk.  
  2.      Don’t aim to be disc jockeys and a real  estate agents  as a career choice  
  3.      are better behaved  and more of a companion that a child would  ever agree to be 
  4.      Eat less 
  5.      Don't ask for money all the time 
  6.      Are easier to train 
  7.      Normally come when called 
  8.      Never ask to drive the car 
  9.      Don't smoke or drink or hang out with  drug-using friends 
    10.  Don't have to buy the latest fashions 
    11.  Don't want to wear your clothes 
    12.  Don't need pocket money 
    13.  are very much like toddlers. Except that they don't grow up. Heaven is being  queen of the toddlers. 
    14.  don’t use the bathroom for hours on end and leave it in a mess 
    15.  are not going to become independent and leave I won’t be abandoned  
    16.  don’t judge us, no matter what we wear, buy,  eat, drive or look like. Now we’ve got an antidote to constant criticism from  ourselves and others that plague us day after day.  
    17.  Give companionship without the baggage of a  human companion. No words come out wrong. No shirking of responsibilities. No  manipulation, tardiness, meanness, cheating or misunderstandings. 
    18.  are cheaper than babies, specially if you get  them free from your local shelter 
    19.  won't give you stretch marks. Women don't  have to lose their figures just to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet around  your home ( bonus: you get twice as many tiny feet). You also won't have to  endure morning sickness, midnight cravings, post-natal depression or hours of  painful labour.  
    20.  will not Have to have the latest clothes, music, or video games.  
    21.  will never ask to borrow the keys to your  car, and will never call you in the middle of the night to tell you they've  wrecked it.  
    22.  will not insist on playing heavy metal music  at an ear-shattering volume , nor spend hours on the telephone while you are  expecting an important call. You don't need to get an extra phone line for a  dog. 
    23.  won't discuss intimate details of your life  with other dogs, and even if they do the other dogs won't be able to tell their  humans.  
    24.  will never call you names, resent that you don't make as much money as their  friends' parents, or put you in a retirement home.  
    25.  will accept discipline when you give it and   learn from its mistakes.  
    26.  never grow out of being kissed or hugged in front of their friends. 
    27.  will watch classic movies with you and won't laugh at the special effects.  
    28.  don't ask why.  
    29.  don't roll their eyes when you talk about your childhood.  
    30.  Don't notice if your clothes are old fashioned and your hairstyle 
    from  the 50's 
    31.  Won't grow up to blame you for what they become 
    32.  never criticize your cooking. 
    33.  cannot lie. 
    34.  are not embarrassed if you sing in public. 
    35.  will never accuse you of not being cool enough 
    36.  clean their own bottoms 
    37.  eat most of the food they fling on the floor 
    38.  don’t sing the same songs over and over again 
    39.  don’t repeat what you’ve said about your  friends 
    40.  never ask you to get out your wallet. Every  time your children look at the TV, there's something else they want you to buy  for them 
    41.  give unconditional love, they are always thrilled to see you,  
    42.  don't answer back very often 
    43.  don't go out in public wearing clothes you hate 
    44.  get their hair cut exactly how you want them to 
    45.  don’t go on and on about "Generation Gaps". 
    46.  love us even when we're sick in bed or when we have garlic breath 
    47.  never shout "I hate you" when you  tell them they have to be home early or that they can't buy something  
    48.  don't need to be taken to music lessons or tuition 
    49.  don't become embarrassed to be seen with you . 
    50.  don’t sulk if you scold them . 
    51.  Don't need a baby sitter when you go out. 
    52.  listen no matter what you say  
    53.don’t  quarrel with you 
    54.  wag their tails to greet us at the door, every single day. How many people get  up and come to the door when we come home? 
    55.  can be locked up when you have company 
    
  We  need someone who needs us, who will protect us,   to take care of,  who will be  there for us, no matter what.  
    Children  raise your blood pressure. Dogs lood pressure and other effects of stress.  
    You  get to see it grow from a gangly puppy into a  responsible, protective adult, you will nurse it through its senescence and it  will pass away loving you as much as it did the day you brought it home. You  don't get this kind of behaviour with children.  
  With  babies, you don't have a choice of breeds or bloodlines. Each has its own  physical characteristics and temperament. A baby is the same breed as you are,  with your genes.   
    You  will never have to change your puppy's nappies. With housetraining, an  eight-week-old puppy can be taught to go out in a week. It takes 4 years or  more with a baby  
    Cute  little puppies grow up to be dogs. Cute little babies grow up to be teenagers. 
    You  can give them wonderfully inventive names 
    If  you move house you don’t have to worry about your dog making new friends right  away 
    You  don’t have to worry about admissions to a good school 
    You  don’t have to save for their marriages, education or jobs 
    You  don’t have to deal with their friends or their teenage problems 
    If  your dog gets pregnant you can give away the babies without getting arrested 
    Dogs  have good shoulders to cry on. Children make you cry 
   Dogs are not child substitutes.  Children are dog substitutes. 
      
    Let  me be politically correct. Dogs and Children have different roles in our lives  and both of them need to be there.  
  To join the animal welfare movement contact gandhim@nic.in 
  
   
  
   
   
  
  
  
  
  
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